Over the past 10 years an unfortunate epidemic has hit across the u.k and is spreading to other countries throughout the western world.
As people approach the 60 year mark signs of gym dementia become more and more obvious and by the age of 61, 100% of gym users have it.
The disease, that leaves victims bewildered and confused when in any form of fitness environment is thought to have links to high levels tea and biscuit consumption but has no further external links.
Symptoms include the following:
– Asking gym goers how old they are.
– Asking for demonstrations of equipment, exercises, showers, toilets, shoes etc.
– Aimlessly walking around changing rooms naked
– Stretching and laying in inappropriate areas such as weight rooms, treadmills, car parks and club reception etc.
– Offering unwrapped sweets to other members kept in pockets and purses
– Wearing shirts and dresses as gym attire
– Drinking hot beverages on gym equipment
– Getting in the way
Fitness facilities are having to take special measures by installing nap areas and stocking up on ovaltine to limit the dangers of the disease.
Facility manager Craig Smith commented:
“Its like bloody warzone out there, we had 3 treadmills down last week due to malted milk biscuits being stuffed in to working mechanisms not to mention the old boy passing out through heat exhaustion because he decided to row for 20 minutes wearing a 3 piece suit!
We’ve had one old boy living in the changing room for 8 months because he cant find his clothes”
Although there are drug trials taking place the MHRA and FDA say nothing will be available to the open market until at least 2025.
The Daily Gym Shart 